Maybe...-RuPru-

   Many a time I have wondered, why do I put up with this man? He has hurt me so severely to the point I can barely walk or talk and whenever he seems to be showing affections it's after I've been hurt and have become distrusting again and then I have to push him away, only to be hurt and broken down into submission again. Many a time I have wondered, when I've seen him smile sweetly and no longer seem cruel, How can he change from dark to loving in a matter of seconds? Of course it could be the vodka he so loves, but if it was really that would he bother hurting me when sober as well? He has grabbed me from my only close family member and forced me to submit to him, to no longer grin or smirk. The only smile I have left is a bundle of broken nerves no one, not even myself, dares to see through.
   Of course when his purple eyes have looked me over and seemed rather gentle and caring, he'd change and hurt me severely if I took one step opposite of his directions. Eventually I will leave him, this I know. I have done it before, but every single time, I've come running back to him, crying helplessly and defenselessly like a rabbit that's just lost it's home. Oh, yes, rabbit. That's what he's called me. 'Zaichik', normally would sound like a term of endearment yet there have been times he's said this while raising that pipe towards me because I defended Raivis. Toris could die for what I care but Raivis is just a child, clearly innocent as well.
   I get snapped out of my thoughts by somebody knocking on my door, I'm staying with Ludwig again. I sigh and answer the door, looking up to meet dark purple eyes.
   I narrowed my own eyes and grunted in annoyance, though I was secretly happy to see him, I refuse to show it. "What the Hell do you want?" I murmured. His large gloved hand stroked my cheek, causing me to flinch some, expecting a slap. He frowned. Not one of anger, no, one of...sadness? What did he have to be sorrowful about, he enjoyed hurting me.
   Suddenly I squeaked in surprise as he grabbed me and hugged me, murmuring soft apologies in my ear. I didn't believe a single one. I'm sorry for hurting you. Too late for that. I'm sorry for forcing you. Again, much too late to apologize for that. And, oh, the worst of them all. This one should make me bend. I love you.
   "No you don't." I drawled out, attempting to pull away from him, he let me go. "If you love someone you don't hurt them!" I felt like a mother scolding her child for tying up a lizard and hitting it a stick. Which was almost the case, except I'm the one getting hit, and instead of with a stick it's with anything near. Oh, and go ahead and change lizard to rabbit, and child to overly-obsessive-stalker-pig-who-enjoys-my-pain.
   His eyes seem clouded with tears. Oh God, no, I would not fall for this trick. "I really do though, Zaichik." Oh, here's the nickname again! "I didn't mean to..." Oh great, he's choking back sobs. I refuse to break now. "I don't know how to treat somebody, I-I've never been loved and and and..."
   Idiot. I think. IDIOT! He remembers nothing, does he? Does he not remember when our bosses were extremely close? Does he not remember when he was with Yao? Dear God, does Ivan not remember how the Soviet-Nazi pact had been sealed? I've always loved you, moron. Stop the self pity crap and realize how much you've scarred me already. I sighed, I'm not going to hug him.
   He just hugged me again, holding me closely as he buried his face in the crook of my neck, crying heavily. I frowned and awkwardly hugged him back, trying to drown out good, though rare, memories that came flooding to me as I closed my eyes and stifled a sniffle. This communist jackarse needed to stop toying with my emotions. He's terribl--
   "Everyone left after you did." He whimpered. Oh, now I remember, he lost his other toys. "Toris, Natalya, Yaketrinka, Eduard, Raivis, all of them." Well, good. Nobody deserves what you did.
   "But...I-I really miss you." He sniffled. "C...can we try? T-to start over some...?" What? Start over? What?
   "You can come visit me and all, I-I'll be nicer and I'll try not hurting you, I promise!" He wrapped his arms around me tighter, but careful not to cause pain.
   I was silent before calming down some and replying. "Fine, one screw up and I swear I won't come back, ever."
   That was half a lie.
   He smiled and kissed both of my cheeks, making me blush. "Thank you, Zaichik. Ya tebyA lyublyU." I blushed even more.
   "Ich liebe dich, auch."
   Maybe he would change, for once. Maybe.